No matter how well you know the source, it always seems to sting when something unfavorable is said about you. However, we can’t let us get it down.
Regardless of whether it’s to your face or behind your back, no one enjoys dealing with this sort of negativity. Sometimes, however, it takes some thoughtful assessments in order to positively move on with our lives.
Here are some tips for dealing with this sort of situation, whether online or off.
First, we have to consider the world around us and how it’s increasingly riddled with fear and blame. More and more people tend to explicitly fault others for things that cause them dread or anxiety. That means we can easily become targets for other people’s issues.
Moreover, the negativity of others might simply be their own projections of their insecurities. Or, you might have a personality trait that just doesn’t jive with their personal principles.
Whatever the case, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re to blame or that you should change anything.
There are several factors that influence how people react to stress. It can be in response to how they were raised, things they learned from their upbringing, or countless other things. Sometimes it goes back to their schooling and whether they were ever taught how to handle stress.
There are a great number of different factors that can influence a person’s behavior and commentary.
In other words, the thing they said may not even have anything to do with you. In fact, Psychology Today says there are but three reasons that explain why people badmouth others. They say that the reasons are always tied to either power, leadership, and/or success.
You might not immediately think those reasons apply to you, but try taking some time to reflect on the notion. Separate yourself from what was said.
From an honest perspective, ask yourself how much of a role you played in prompting the negative comment.
More often than not, mean comments are simply related to assumed social standards. Worse, few people understand why they follow these bogus rules. Still, they may often somehow expect others to abide by them.
If you did do something to provoke the source of the hurtful words, consider why it might’ve been found distressing.
Think about whether their feedback regards a personality flaw of yours or one of their own. Question whether it might also be related to various situational influences that may be connected to their insecurities. Is it related to fears they may have – or maybe even a perceived loss of power?
Take a step back and give both parties time to reflect on things.
While it’s natural to fee affected, try not to take it too seriously. Many people’s reactions aren’t well thought out and can be influenced by countless factors.
