3 Ways to Improve the Way You Talk to Yourself – and Why It Matters

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We talk to yourselves all the time, even if we’re not speaking out loud. Our internal monologue is constantly running a dialogue of our day. What we’re doing, who we’re talking to, what our plans are… it’s like a constant white noise in the background of your brain.

Too many people speak to themselves in a negative way, though. Even if you don’t realize it, your subconscious is saying cruel or hurtful things about you. From little things like how “dumb” you were to take a certain way to work to how stupid you were for thinking your ex could actually change.

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This is so common and so toxic. The way we speak to ourselves matters, and you should start changing that immediately. Shifting your mentality to a healthier outlook isn’t always easy, but it is very important.

Why It Matters

Your opinion on you matters more than anyone else’s opinion. You define not just how you see yourself, but how others see you.

Would you let a friend say half the things you say or think about yourself? What about a total stranger? If you look in the mirror and think, I look fat in this, would you be offended if a stranger would say that to you?

Your attitude about yourself also affects the way you speak about yourself or your accomplishments to others, and how others perceive you. Confidence comes from the inside.

3: Start Your Day on a Positive Note

Before leaving the house in the morning, take a moment to say some nice things about yourself. Acknowledge (either out loud or just in your head) that you are doing the best you can with the hand you were dealt, and that you can handle anything that comes your way.

Then, give yourself a little motivational pep talk based on what you have coming up. “I can handle this meeting”, “I will have a productive morning before lunch”, or “I will stay positive and smiling” can all help!

2: Speak to Yourself in Second or Third Person, Not First

A study was done that indicated when people changed the actual voice they used to speak to themselves, they were a lot less critical. Instead of thinking “You am so dumb”, “I look so fat”, “I can’t believe I missed that”, try using third or second person.

“She did this”, “He did that”, “You should be doing this instead”. Shifting the words you use will help separate how you see yourself and how you relate to yourself and the world around you.

1: Be Kind to Yourself

You should be treating yourself better than anyone else in your life. If what you are saying about yourself is something you would never say to a friend, you don’t deserve that.

Anytime you stray away from a positive mentality, be gentle with yourself and bring it back. It takes a lot of practice and self-awareness to be able to do this, but in the long run, you will be a lot happier, more confident, and even more successful in your life.

Mindfulness exercises can also help keep you in the moment, and more aware of your thoughts. Each time you have a negative emotional response, acknowledge that negativity and then let it go, rephrasing the situation in a positive light.

A few weeks of making a serious effort and you may find your life already improving!